put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
