love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize