this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
