You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw a hot homeless man
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
