ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
