I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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