i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
