I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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