i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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