wat bout pragnant strippers??
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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