He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize