i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
