Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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