just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
