i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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