That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
