do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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