the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I faked an abortion last night.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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