there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize