Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
