a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
