ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She's the barista slut.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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