PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
