I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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