who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize