I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
