But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
