Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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