i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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