my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you would pick up someone in the library
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wear drunk well.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
