The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
