K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
