Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
