She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
