i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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