i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize