omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
