Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
