she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
