sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
