I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
A bitchslap is in order.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
