haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
