do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
