vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
