Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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