i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
