I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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