i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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