I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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