So drunk its hurt
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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