dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
