Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
