Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
