some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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