He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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